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Tired of Being an Estuary

“will you love me baby when the sun goes down,” – Sonia Sanchez 


i am littered beads, 
haven’t you noticed? all the little 
parts of me that rattle? all the little 
parts so carefully placed, unstable

until ironed flat? i can bear it, 
                                           for I do promise, 

if you give me just one more soft 
straw of hair, one more sweaty 
hug, one more kiss on the forehead, 
one more cheek-to-cheek

Untitled by James Hutton


lay one
single finger, &
i’ll scream until negative 
space holds itself in wait– 
you’ll find messing with 
me was a mistake, can’t 
you see that i am 
tired of being an estuary, 
begging you let me go/let go 
of me. teach me 
what can be found in fetal moments 
i am not asking for 
            just a kindness
                          I have not
            known for years.
                            Just a
                                                          I have not known for years.